


that would be enough

by binchmarner



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, EJ is the best best friend ever, Fix-It, M/M, Paul Bissonnette is an asshole, Post-Trade
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2021-01-22 19:03:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21307064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/binchmarner/pseuds/binchmarner
Summary: When Tyson gets traded, Nate reassures him that everything is going to be okay, even though everything seems like it's decidedly Not.
Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s), Samuel Girard/Erik Johnson, Tyson Barrie/Nathan MacKinnon
Comments: 8
Kudos: 98





	that would be enough

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lotts (LottieAnna)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LottieAnna/gifts).

> this is for you chuck. thank you for chatficcing this with me, and basically getting me to finish this. you are amazing and i love you.
> 
> thank you to kip for inspiring this story, i hope you love it.
> 
> title of the story comes from the musical Hamilton's song [That Would Be Enough](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kK9c41WgNpc%22).

The call comes in when Tyson out with Biz, funnily enough. Biz finds it funny to post a video to social media where Tyson’s trying not to cry, trying so, so hard not to lose it. He can’t even open his mouth to fake laugh because they’ll turn into real tears so, so quickly.

His phone buzzes on the table and it’s the only thing he can focus on because it’s _Nate_ and he just wants to hear his voice. 

“I’ve gotta––I’ve gotta go, Biz.” Tyson manages to get his wallet out and throw down fifty bucks. That should more than cover what he got and the tip. He walks away while Biz is still laughing like Tyson’s world isn’t fucking falling apart.

He lets the call go to voicemail. 

Tyson takes a shaky breath as he unlocks the door to his car, slipping in and sitting at the wheel. He rests his head against the wheel and lets the tears stream down his face. _In, out. In, out,_ he tells himself. It’s not working.

Every year there’s talk about him being traded.

He didn’t think they’d actually do it.

His chest is tight and he feels like he’s sinking and sinking, like there are cinder blocks tied to his ankles, pulling him farther down the ocean and he can’t fucking _breathe._

So he does what he can.

He gets himself together as best he can and he drives around. When he thinks about driving to the practice rink and getting on the ice, he decides against it. He can’t be around hockey: the ice, the skates, the pucks, they all make him want to get sick.

He calls EJ, ignoring the fact that there are already three missed calls from Nate.

“Dude,” EJ says sympathetically as soon as he picks up. “I heard the news. That’s so shitty of Sakic, what the fuck.”

“I know,” Tyson says and he has to pull into a fucking King Sooper’s parking lot because he’s about three seconds from crying all over again. He parks the car, unlocking the seatbelt and sliding down the seat. He digs the heel of his palm into his eyes, trying to will the tears back into his eyes. “I–– Biz filmed my fucking reaction.”

“Biz is an absolute asshole and you _know_ this, Tys,” EJ says. “Why do you keep giving him room in your head when he’s not paying rent?”

“Because he’s Nate’s friend, and I wanted to go out to lunch with him to talk about our engagement,” Tyson says, his voice shaking because fuck, their _engagement._

“Tyson, have you talked to Nate about this?” EJ asks and Tyson doesn’t realize that he’s started crying again until EJ says his name again. “Tyson, please. Breathe for me.”

“I’ve been avoiding his calls,” Tyson says quietly. “He’s going to call off the engagement and it’s my fault. If I’d played better––”

“Stop that right now.” EJ’s voice is tight, and Tyson takes a deep breath. “You played the best you could. There’s no _if._ He’s not going to call off the engagement.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Why would he do it, then?” EJ says. “You _know_ him, Tyson. He wouldn’t just up and leave because you were traded.” 

Tyson can see EJ’s expression, his raised eyebrows, his reassuring smile––he’s the one that helps Tyson through so many panic attacks, and he’s even doing it through his recovery. 

“Because distance is hard, and I’m a failure, and it just… it hurts, Erik.” Tyson pinches the bridge of his nose, trying so, so hard to just breathe for once in his life.

“I know it does, Tys.” 

There’s a muffled voice in the background and the call shifts to FaceTime. Tyson answers the call and there’s Sam. He’s curled up next to EJ, hooking his chin over the shoulder that’s not hurting and smiles at the camera.

“They traded you because you are _good,_ Tyson,” Sam says. “Do not think that we are letting you go because you are across the country from us.”

Tyson cracks a smile at that. “Thanks, Sammy.”

“But Erik does need to rest now. He is a terrible patient and I have to force him to go to sleep.” Sam rolls his eyes, but smiles when EJ kisses his forehead. Tyson suddenly misses Nate so much he aches with it, and he needs to get to him immediately.

“I need Nate,” he says faintly.

EJ smiles at him. “Go talk to him. I can guarantee he’s worried about you right now.”

Tyson nods, finishing the call with EJ. He drives home without thinking about it; he’s on autopilot. Ever since 2013, ever since he met Nate, Nate’s been his home. 

Tyson needs to go home.

\---

Tyson walks up to his apartment, unlocking the door, and the first thing he sees is Nate on the couch. He’s sitting with his legs crossed on the sectional, and he’s fucking around on his phone. HGTV is playing on the TV, and Tyson knows he’s not really watching because _Fixer Upper_ is playing and he’s not yelling at the television about how obviously fake everything is. He’s… silent, which is kind of scary.

“Nate?” Tyson says, kicking off his shoes and walking over to the couch. Nate looks up and Tyson is trying his best to not break down, he really is, but––

“Tys,” Nate says softly, holding out his hand and Tyson drops to the couch, curling up against him. “Tys, I’m sorry.”

“I–– what are we going to do?” Tyson says, and he’s trying his best to keep the tears in; he already cried in the car, he really can’t cry again. He doesn’t _want_ to cry again. It’ll make Nate cry, and if Nate cries, Tyson’s just.

“What do you mean?” Nate says, holding Tyson close to him, pressing a kiss to his curls.

Tyson shuts his eyes tight, letting the tears fall. He can’t say this without crying, but it has to be said anyway. _Just rip off the bandaid, Tyson._

“You’re going to call the engagement off, obviously. Long distance is hard, and I’m not _worth_ it.”

It takes Nate a second to respond, and when Tyson looks up at him, Nate’s eyes are teary, but resolute. “Is that why you avoided my calls?”

“Well, yeah.” Tyson can’t look at him anymore. His heart’s breaking just seeing him like that.

“I wouldn’t have asked you to marry me if i thought you were anything less than worth everything, baby.” Nate takes Tyson’s hand and squeezes it gently. 

“But––”

“No,” Nate says, and he brings his hand up to wipe the tears away from Tyson’s cheeks. “You _are_ worth everything. Just because you got traded doesn’t mean I love you any less. Just because you got traded doesn’t mean you’re not still team.”

Tyson laughs bitterly, sniffing. “I’m not anymore, though.”

“What does that mean?” Nate asks, caressing Tyson’s cheekbone with his thumb. 

“I’m _old,_” he says. “Even if the Leafs decide that they made a mistake, the Avalanche won’t want me back. I’m a risk.”

“You’ll still see us. See me,” Nate says softly. “Twice a year for games, Christmas. Thanksgiving.”

“Is that enough time?” Tyson asks, looking down at his lap.

Nate hooks his finger under Tyson’s chin, so he’s looking at Nate’s eyes. “All I want is for you to come home when you can,” Nate says. “Fuck, I’ll fly to Toronto, too. You’re still the same guy I fell in love with six and a half years ago, Tys. You’re worth beating the odds and getting married after the postseason.”

Tyson laughs softly, leaning in to kiss him. “I really wanted to win the Cup with you, Nate.”

“We don’t need that kind of legacy together, Tyson.” Nate holds Tyson’s hand. “We’re going to have a family, whether it’s having kids or just us and a dog. That’s a much better legacy, I think.”

“You do?” Tyson asks. 

“I’ll see you when you win. I’ll be on the ice celebrating when you hoist it and everything. I’ll still be with you, I’m just not on the same team.” Nate grins. 

“Bold of you to assume you won’t be battling me for the Cup.” Tyson snorts.

“Well, you know what? We’ll know when we get there, won’t we?” Nate says, holding Tyson close to his chest. Tyson rubs his thumb over the ring Nate gave him last Christmas. 

“I love you,” Tyson says. 

“I love you too, Tys. Always. No matter where I am,” Nate says. “We’ve got this, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Tyson curls up against Nate’s side and lets his eyes drift closed. “Yeah we do.”

**Author's Note:**

> you're welcome to come yell with me about tyson and nate and other avs and leafs on my twitter @calejuice8!


End file.
